Thursday, October 25, 2007

Deep Unto Deep - Week #8

Thank you to Joan Frazerhurst who is writing the blog while Nita is away in Asia.

Chapter 6 - Dark Yet Lovely (continued)

I found this chapter quite challenging and it caused me to really look at some areas in my own life. When I am apprehended by my own darkness, or as it comes through a comment from someone else, I find it quite difficult to think myself as"lovely." Anyone else experience that? This is the time for me to reach for His love. But, when I am feeling this darkness and/or possible misunderstanding, it is very difficult to reach for that personal love. I don't feel too personal at the time. I find I need to deliberately look to the Lord, desiring the deeper knowledge of the thought that I am still lovely to Him. I can't say that it miraculously happens...it doesn't! I can only say that it is only a step of faith in the fact of His love toward me as one of His created beings...because He did create me. There is a childlikeness that I must acquire by His grace in order to receive this love and attention at a time of darkness, failure, intimidation, or whatever.

Actually, as I have been reflecting on this chapter and began to write some thoughts down, I had the very experience that I had already described above. A comment came my way that sent me into a dark corner and I didn't want to come out. In order to begin to be free of the effects of this comment, I had to take steps to offset situations of childhood that left me unaffirmed as a person. The effect of negative comments, etc. always has sent me into the dark corner. I am finally getting to realize this reality so that I could begin to take the steps to be free of the effect of not being affirmed. Then to bask in the love of God and begin to see His reality of who I am. Self-examination and trusting the Holy Spirit to reveal my issues is essential.

I love the thought that tells us that God perceives our desire and our moving toward Him before we or others even notice it, and even when I would rather not be seen or heard from. This leads to the next thought about the process of discovering my darkness...God finds us lovely in the midst of this discovery. Whew! If we think we are dark, this is the time to know that the Lord went deeper into that darkness than anyone...even to the extent that He was forsaken by His Father. This deep truth allows us to be able to look straight at the fact of our darkness in order to be set free...the Lord brings us into the light of His shining face and loving heart. Just imagine being able to continually walk with the inner knowledge of being loved. I guess this is what we are being prepared for. God has put that "taste" in our being so that we will want to be free and desire more and more of Him...Addicted to His love! Sounds like a song?

As Dana indicates, and I am very grateful that she includes this thought, that if my heart tolerates sin and darkness, God does not enjoy that. He cannot enjoy both in us...the "yes" to Him and a tolerance of sin. My heart must be sincere in seeking to walk toward holiness. As I've written comments on these books from Nita's Book Club, I find I have been more personal than I ever have been. My desire has been for all of us to come to know in the depest way God's personal love for us. This includes the area of the reconciling good and evil. This is a subtle trap for us as believers. We can see in our society today (including many church bodies), a destroying of the reality of God's love and truth especially in the realm of personal holiness. This reconciling does not bring personal freedom into our deepest being, let alone in this present world system. In this realm of love and truth, we must be able to issue mercy to ourselves in knowing that we are forgiven. God's mercy to each of us can come through in a deep level because of the blood of Jesus cleansing us and the Holy Spirit renewing us.

Dana also speaks of a paradox, "...as we make our way forward in love, with immaturity so often lifting its head, He sees the sweet budding desire in my heart and calls me lovely." The persons "that feel loved and pure, overflowing with dignity and desire...are the burning and shining lamps throughout history that triumph over the enemies of their soul and walk in the truth of their destiny."

It is His labors, not our labor that makes us lovelier. Let us continually desire God to draw us into His heart of love. What a heart and what grace!

The following song was sung at church last Sunday and it seemed a fit here:

You Are My All in All

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my All in All.
Seeking you as a precious jewel,
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool.
You are my All in All.

Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name.

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again I praise your Name
You are my All in All.
When I fall down you pick me up,
When I am dry you fill my cup
You are my All in All.

Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name.

by Dennis Jernigan

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Week #7 - Deep Unto Deep

Chapter Six: Dark yet Lovely


Song of Solomon 1:5 is where this phrase, “dark yet lovely,” appears; I will make initial comments on this chapter, and Joan will take it up from there next week.

The Lord has His way of “trapping” us, cornering us so that there’s nowhere to run. This is His great mercy even though it may be painful in the moment. He knows that we are only at peace and joy when we know Him and are known by Him in intimate communion, and in His great love for us, He carefully designs circumstances to get us to Himself.

Often, as fallen humans, our response to this being cornered by God is to run to coping mechanisms, busyness being the most common among Christians. In referring to a season like this in her sister’s life, the author writes, “Which was worse – the pain of His silence or the disillusionment of her love’s weakness? It was all she could do to stay and continue (seeking Him) instead of reaching for something to ‘prop up’ her soul and deliver her from this place of (facing her) barrenness. Ruined for comforts and pleasures that were once fulfilling, yet experiencing nothing of the sweetness she desired in communion, she remained trapped before her silent Beloved…”

The end of that story is that when this day, which was set aside to pursue God, was over for her sister, she finally held her arms open to Him and simply said, “Enjoy me. Right here, right now, in my absolute weakness, enjoy me.” And God broke through for her.

This simple and desperate prayer isn’t a magic formula, so there’s no guarantee that He will break through just because someone says a certain thing, but the point is that Dana’s sister was finally able to accept that God was attracted to her desire for Him even though she was so weak and barren spiritually. This is what empowers our hearts to keep seeking Him and to keep obeying Him to the end.

As we see in the maiden in the Song of Solomon, we need a revelation of Jesus’ strong desire for us if we are going to mature into lovesick worshippers who will give all for Him. “Though sincere desire for Jesus burns within us, we unavoidably run headlong into our own weakness. Our passion for Him is real. Our sincerity is sure. Yet we lack spiritual maturity. We cannot go long before we discover our utter inability to sustain our fervency.” It’s at this point that we need the revelation that though we are “dark” (weak and spiritually immature), we are “lovely” (desirable) in His eyes.

One of the things that makes us “lovely” to Him even when we are immature in our love is that there is a “yes” in our spirit towards Him, there’s a real and genuine desire in us to obey Him. This in itself is very attractive to Him, even though He knows very well that we are “dark.”

The author goes on to define the “darkness” in our lives:
• Sin and compromise
• Weakness of our fallenness (which will only be reversed fully in the age to come)

“To know that I am ‘dark but lovely’ is to understand my weakness, which is comprised of my sinfulness, my immaturity and my natural limitations together with the revelation of my loveliness to Him. (Psa.86:1,2)…With His eyes full of fire, He perceives the continual cry deep within my heart to belong fully to Him, and He calls it part of my ‘loveliness.’ He defines me by the things that are not yet revealed as though they were…”

This makes me think of when Jesus said to Simon, “You are Peter…” Jesus’ fiery eyescould penetrate and see into who Simon really was – he was Peter, and Jesus spoke that into being by naming Simon a new name which carried the meaning of Peter’s true self in God.

We are far weaker than we realize and far lovelier than we realize…Our loveliness is not an attribute gained by our attainments. It is a gift of God. He sees us beautiful because of what He Himself has accomplished in our salvation and transformation. This divine perspective is our source of protection from the accusations of the enemy…Without this combined confession – our darkness and our loveliness – we cannot continually ascend in our journey of His embrace…Our loveliness protects us from shame and condemnation, and our weakness keeps us from pride and arrogance.”/strong>

The author goes on to expound on the fundamental reasons God sees us as lovely even when we have so far to go in maturing, and she also addresses the issue that this doesn’t imply that He finds deliberate rebellion attractive at all.

But I want to end here to once again encourage you to ponder these things, allowing God to rename you as He did Peter. Many, if not all, of us have been given negative labels (names) by significant people in our lives – parents, teachers, friends, spouse, children, etc.; and we often live under those names for years, crippled and insecure because of accepting them.

God alone knows who you are and can, by His Spirit, call forth the true you by “naming” you for who you really are in Him. So please don’t simply read this as just some more information to add to the collection of spiritual data but take the time and effort to listen to His voice and to agree with what He says to you about your true identity.

I’ve found that hearing His affirming and defining words once isn’t enough; so Lord, I pray that Your grace will rest on Your people to seek You with all our being; and when we find ourselves “cornered” by You, grant us courage and perseverance to remain with You there and allow You to love us even in the awareness of how “dark” we are. You are soooo good, dear Lord! We love You and thank You…in Jesus’ holy name!

Next week we’ll continue with this chapter on “Dark yet Lovely.” Blessings on you!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Deep Unto Deep - Week #6

Chapter Five: Personal Receiving (continued)

This week we will finish up chapter five on the need to really be “alone with the Alone.”

The author says,

“One of the greatest hindrances to this sweet communion is when I bring others with me into this garden of intimacy…

It is a difficult thing to come before the throne of grace entirely alone in the simplicity of just God and my heart. In so many ways, some conscious, some unaware, I come before Him dragging a collection of other people’s attainments or disappointments, strengths and weaknesses…In my emotions, I approach Him as though He were simultaneously thinking of all of these other people when He looks at me. This is partly because of my fear of being alone with Him…It is also because I am so used to living life in the eyes of many, instead of the eyes of One.”


One of the most powerful prayers prayed by men and women in the Scriptures is “Here I am, Lord.” As I’ve meditated on this prayer, its significance has grown in my understanding over the years because it really is a bedrock statement that I am here alone with You, God, and I come with nothing in my hands nor with anyone else alongside me; it’s just You and me. It’s a separation from all else to be with Him alone. (And this can happen in a crowd as well as in the secret place.)

I say this simple phrase many, many times to the Lord; it’s my way of saying that I’m “all ears” and His alone. (This doesn’t mean that I am free from the pull of distractions, etc., but just making the statement helps set the tone for fellowshipping with Him in the uniqueness of His and my relationship.)

Dana says near the end of the chapter that in this journey of intimacy with God “to try to go the way of another only slows our journey for He has formed each one’s way for him or her alone. This is an important truth, for we waste much time and emotion comparing our spiritual lives to those around us a though we could be measured by each other.”

What a joy when the truth begins to really penetrate my thinking that the Lord doesn’t compare me with anyone else!

All of this serves to point out again how important it is that we find our identity in God’s love and affection for us, and we can never encounter this reality without listening to His voice and agreeing with what He says about us. As we persist in this, our inner being is slowly but surely strengthened to stand with boldness before Him to obey what He tells us to do in His name. The only thing that will cause us to endure the pressures of the end of the age is that we are drawing constantly from this spring of Life in Christ Jesus.

Even now, I encourage you to take a moment and set all aside to recognize that God is with you and that He made you a noble being who He enjoys as His child, if you indeed belong to Him in Christ Jesus and are reaching for Him by faith. Your reaching may be very weak, but it counts to Him and He longs for fellowship with you by His Spirit; He longs for you to know that His unfailing and never-ending love for you personally and then your response of love back is what identifies you as a “success” in this life. Ask the Holy Spirit to come to you and lead you to Jesus and the Father, bringing you into that divine circle of love and affection where we are transformed and empowered to obey and follow Him.

Dare to say to Him (and maybe even to others eventually), "I am the disciple whom You love, Lord! That's my primary identity."

Lord, we depend on You alone…no one else can satisfy nor tell me who I am in You and who You are in me. Thank You that You hear and answer the genuine cry of the needy! I love You; most staggering of all is that You love me! Praise Your Name!


Special note: I’ll be traveling to Asia soon and in my absence, Joan Frazerhurst will be filling in for me – thank you, Joan! If I’m able to get online, I may send a note while gone.

For next week, read chapter 6: Dark but Lovely. God bless you…

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Deep Unto Deep - Week #5

Chapter Five: Personal Receiving

This is an important chapter related to facing the need do the hard, and at times painful, work of really receiving the love of God personally rather than generically.

“We find that though we were comfortable with Him proclaiming His love to the entire crowd, we become terrified to be alone in the ocean of His love. We begin to resist and uncomfortably squirm beneath the weight of His desire…

The God that ‘so loved the world’ remains only a nice God until the ‘world’ become you. If it continues to be ‘corporate’ in our understandings, and we merely receive the truth that He so loved ‘the world,’ it will not ever change the inner parts of our hearts.”


A few years ago as we were having a time of simple worship on Bethany campus (going non-stop all day for several days), I entered the Prayer Room where the worship was going. At that time of day, there were only 2 or 3 of us in the room loving the Lord through simply being with Him in that place. I sat for a little while being quiet before Him and I sensed His invitation to kneel at the large cross that was on one side of the room. I expected to do this for a few brief moments, but I found myself staying there for a very long time.

After a long while in that posture, I heard the Lord lovingly say in my spirit, “Now stand before Me.” And so I stood up and faced the cross, remaining in that posture for awhile. I wasn’t experiencing surface emotions during this time, but then when I felt release to sit down again, I sat listening to the Lord and sensed Him say to me, “Well done, Nita.” Hearing this whisper in my spirit overwhelmed me and I began to weep and weep over His loving and affirming words. That experience did a lot to shift “the inner parts of my heart” and strengthened me to continue to obey Him in the difficult situation I was in at that time.

Candler says, “What makes a bride a bride is that she knows…that she is the unique one and the favorite of her husband. This is why it is so crucial that each heart goes on a personal journey of bridal love…We have to know and feel like the favorite of the Lord.”

This brings to mind the apostle John who, whenever he made reference to himself in the Gospel of John, called himself “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” We know God is not partial, so why would John label himself such a thing? On the surface it appears arrogant; but I believe John had received the love of Jesus personally and so knew what his true identity was: the one that Jesus loves! Once I (and any follower of Jesus) begin to get even a little hold on that reality at the personal level, the issues of who I am and why I’m here start to clear up. And along with clarity of identity comes confidence and joy.

The apostle John had the courage to say the truth about what Jesus said about him, and it takes courage to dare to say “yes” to this truth and to let it begin its transforming work in me.

The author goes on to say some key things that I’ll quote below:
• …within His great musical heart were many songs. He created one person to sing a unique song of His heart…Only that person, with that frame, history and journey could answer and fulfill His desire for his or her specific place in His heart.
• The way that I enter this great mystery is through agreement – my agreement with who He is and then who I am flowing out of that.
• (The Holy Spirit) reveals Jesus to my heart, and as I behold His beauty, I am transformed from glory to glory. Proceeding from this revelation of who He is, is the revelation of who I am in Him.
• When He created me He said…"This is good"…He agreed with His work in my creation. I must also come into deep agreement with Him, joining Him in His pleasure.
• …if there resides within me a beautiful mystery of Jesus…will I not do well to peer into the way He has formed me…so that I might discover and understand what He has desired to reveal of Himself within me?...this is not an inward search unto a heightened self-knowledge or self-awareness. It is the knowledge of God that we are after.
• He measures neither my heart nor my path by that of another.


Although there is more in this chapter, I’m going to pause it here and continue on next week, because I believe it is at this juncture that we who love Him have such difficulties entering in. To deeply experience His unique love for me takes intentionality and radical agreement with what He says about me. To take the time and effort to listen and then receive by saying, “Ok, Lord, if that’s what You say about me, I will agree even though it goes against the grain of all that I’ve been told by others and by myself and by the devil.”

It takes a long time and faith-filled effort on our part and the power of the Holy Spirit for this truth to penetrate our deepest being. It’s generally such a gradual dawning of truth on us that we think we’re getting nowhere, but if you persist in listening and believing and obeying the Father’s words to you and about you, there will be inner transformation and renewing of the mind taking place.

Nothing will bring me into my true identity and destiny except the voice of the heavenly Father through His Son Jesus by the working of the Holy Spirit. No amount of mere human affirmation can do this, though God’s affirmation at times comes through humans. When it’s mere human words, the encouragement lasts very briefly; when a word comes directly from God, either through humans or straight to the human spirit from the Holy Spirit, then it brings life and it’s eternal.

So once again, I encourage you to take time to sit before the Lord with His written Word, ask the Holy Spirit to breathe on you as you read, open your heart fully to Him by saying, “Yes, Lord, I will believe what You say…” Take a Scripture such as Matthew 10:29-31 and let it sink in while you wait in the Lord’s presence.

Holy Spirit, I pray that You would show us the love of the Father and of the Son for each of us personally. May Your grace rest upon us to dare to look to You alone for our name and identity. May the same courage that John found to agree with Your revelation to him about being Your “favorite one” come to us as we ponder and gaze on Truth. We love You, dear Lord. Thank You for hearing our prayer!


Next week we’ll finish off this chapter five, Personal Receiving. God bless you!










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