Wounds That Heal - Week #8

We have had technical difficulties this past week in sending out the weekly email. Our apologies for the lateness of this.

Joan Frazerhurst was our guest blogger this week. Thank you, Joan! - Sue Shetler

Father, Forgive Them

In reading this chapter, it causes me to wonder about the difficulty involved in folks knowing deeply that they truly have given forgiveness especially to someone or situation that seemingly does not “deserve” it. Actually, they do not deserve forgiveness, and neither do we. It is the grace of God that makes forgiveness even possible. Let us get our eyes off “deserving”, whether it is the other or if it is us. And set our eyes and hearts on the “grace” aspect. It is His love!!

This chapter opens with the story of a woman who is bound in hatred, hatred toward her father. As a teacher, a question from a young student caused this woman to ponder deeply and she still pondered the question as she dozed off. She slept on it and when she woke up in the morning, she did not hear anything, and did not see anything, but she experienced an impression of Christ on the cross saying the words, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” This was God’s gift of a revelation from His Spirit to the woman. She states, “At that moment it was as though a tremendous weight was lifted from me.” The hatred she had been experiencing had blocked her relationship with God. She found that if Jesus could accept crucifixion in the spirit of forgiveness, then she should be able to forgive also. Jesus’ words gave her a pattern for forgiving and also released power in her to be able to forgive.

“The Christian imperative to forgive those who have inflicted pain on us is a call to imitate Jesus. However, we are not called to imitate Christ in our own strength…as we will to forgive, he imparts his strength to us. The word of forgiveness spoken on the cross is also spoken in us.”

The Seven Steps of Forgiveness
“Forgiveness unlocks the door to healing, restoration, freedom and renewal.” We cannot be healed of hurts without our forgiving those that wounded us. As the lack of forgiveness kept the lady above from a relationship with God, so with us that have experienced deep woundedness, a lack of forgiveness keeps us from receiving that healing we so desire.

Preparing to Forgive: steps 1 – 3 are directed toward the past.
1) Facing the facts.
To be ruthlessly honest about what was done to us is so painful in itself…but we must not have excuses. We must see it in “all its horror, dirt, meanness and malice” and yet being reconciled to the person responsible.

2) Feeling the hurt.
To connect with the feelings that are involved in rejection, loneliness, fear, anger, shame and depression is no small feat. Henri Nouwen’s quote is so apropos here:
“The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through.
It is better to cry than to worry,
better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand them,
better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them.

The choice you face constantly is whether you are taking your wounds to your head or to your heart. In your head you can analyze them, find their causes and consequences, and coin words to speak and write about them. But no final healing is likely to come from that source. You need to let your wounds go down into your heart.”

3) Confronting our hate.
Forgiving involves letting go of hatred or resentment toward the persons who have wounded us but it does take acknowledging it. We must admit we resent those who wronged us, for a part of us hates them for what they did. Forgiveness is not blaming ourselves…even though we may not be completely innocent, but forgiveness requires the courage to confront our hatred.

The Heart of Forgiveness: steps 4 – 5 are focused on the present.
4) Bearing the pain.
This is well said in the quote the author used by Theologian H.R. Macintosh: “In every great forgiveness there is enshrined a great agony.”
When we forgive, we bear pain. God in Christ carried and bore that pain as well. When we forgive others, we are bearing, absorbing the pain and taking the punishment that the other deserves….not to replace what Christ did, but Christ in and through us is bearing that pain and punishment.

5) Releasing those who have wronged us.
I thought it was interesting that when we forgive, we relinquish the role of judge, jury and executioner and actually turn the other over to God…as stated it involves a voluntary “releasing a person or thing over which one has legal or actual control.” “vengeance is not mine, but Thine alone.” And it carries some risk. Because, as the author states, when I choose to put down the sword, it is like I put down myself. This resentment and executioner part may become part of our identity and what would there be without it?

The David Augsburger quote is deep in itself. “'forgive’ is an extended, expanded, strengthened form of the verb to give. This speaks of giving at its deepest level, of self-giving, of giving forth and giving up deeply held parts of the self.” When we give up control to God, His presence and power are released. A clarifying thought…that bearing the pain and releasing those who have wronged us has to do with our attitudes; seeking justice has to do with our actions toward them. It offers them “an opportunity to face the truth about themselves, admit and turn from it.

Starting Over: steps 6 – 7 focuses on the future.
6) Assuming Responsibility for ourselves.
When we forgive, we have to begin to take responsibility for our own choices. We can’t blame someone else. It seems in our society that you are better off as being victimized. But when we do take responsibility, we declare that what happened doesn’t define who we are…our identity is not our pain. Just think, finally finding our own identity apart from the pain…we want to know who we really are. We can see that losing our victim identity can be like losing a friend. Pain and resentment falsely attempts to meet our needs. So we must release them in order to be free to determine our destiny apart from any wounds. What painful joy.
7) Longing for Reconciliation.
Forgiveness works by creating in us that longing for reconciliation even if the other is not willing to be reconciled with us. Forgiveness has a negative side in that it is about letting go of bitterness and revoking revenge. That in itself is healing. But forgiveness has a positive side in that it is about reconciling, the coming together of persons who have been alienated to each other. I think I will vote for both to be effective.

Forgiving at the Cross:
“The process of forgiving brings us to the cross of Christ. So, as Christians, we forgive not only in the presence of an offender but also at the foot of the cross in the presence of Christ.” II Cor 2:10 is used as a reference.

It seems it could be difficult to reason that forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. We choose to forgive even with some negative emotions. And, of course, we can get the help of our Lord to make us willing to forgive when needed. The author goes on to say that on the cross, Jesus bore the wrongs done to him but He also bore the wrongs done to us. As He was forgiving those who wronged Him, could He as well forgive those who wronged us?

I just have to put in this quote by Leanne Payne that the author uses: “From this person I had suffered assaults that were irrational and weighted by envy, lying, and slander. But on this day a final act came to light, one that to me was and still is unthinkable, one designed to destroy me and all I held dear. The act went right to the core of me. In pain and amazement, I knew for the first time how in the passion of hate one person could kill another human being…I fell to me knees and cried out to God for help. “Please do not let me hate,” I cried over and over. Getting no relief, I phoned a friend to come over and help me pray. All afternoon, having thrown myself face down over the living room ottoman, I cried out to God and my prayer partner cried out with me…Then came a moment when instantly my pleading was interrupted by an amazing awareness of Christ in me, and from that center where He and I were mysteriously one, forgiveness was extended to my enemy. It was as if Christ in and through me forgave the person (who can explain such a thing?)…yet I too forgave.”

Like Leanne, we obtain grace in his presence to release resentment and revenge. As we wait at the cross Jesus will speak the forgiving word in us.

I suppose we all would agree with the author that this forgiveness process happens over time and layer by layer. And following forgiveness, we often experience an overwhelming sense of sadness and I found that this sadness lingers awhile. Sadness is hard to beat. Actually, I have come to sense that this “sadness” can be turned into an intercession—sensing the sadness in a situation, the world situation, or in a person. I remember listening through the night to healing worship music as well as some Taize music. The releasing of these hurts and the receiving of healing deepens in our lives. The many “emotional twists” along the way doesn’t mean we start over but we reaffirm our will to forgive and again, ask the Lord to deepen it.

There is grace to forgive…let us partake of it in any area of our life where it is needed.
“Father, forgive them.” Cause us, cause me, to walk in forgiveness, Lord. You are Grace.

Read this rendition of The Beatitudes as done by the Taize brothers...would be great to have the music along with it. This is one song I listened to over and over again for quite some time.

Happy all who are poor in spirit
For the kingdom of heaven is theirs

Happy all those who now are weeping
The joy of God will comfort them

Happy all the humble the gentle
For the earth one day will be theirs

Happy all who for justice hunger
They shall receive their heart’s desire

Happy all with hearts clear and simple
For they shall come to see their God

Happy all creators of true peace
They shall be called the children of God

Happy all suffering persecution
For the kingdom of heaven is theirs

Happy all who persevere for Christ
For in God they’ll be filled with joy

This week we will read chapter 9: “Love Your Enemies.”

We begin Enjoying God by S. J. Hill (Relevant Books) on May 11. Enjoying God will challenge and encourage you to pursue a passionate, intimate relationship with God. The book exposes misunderstandings that can damage and jeopardize your faith and it uncovers a biblical understanding of God as Father. God will move you from duty to delight in your relationship with Christ.

Wounds that Heal - Week #8 Technical Difficulties

The blog post for Chapter 8 did not get e-mailed this week. I had technical problems trying to send it out and will try again soon.

You can continue with Chapter 9 - Love Your Enemies.

Sue Shetler (for Nita who is out-of-town this week)

Wounds That Heal - Week #8

Joan Frazerhurst is our guest blogger this week while Nita is out of town.

Father, Forgive Them

In reading this chapter, it causes me to wonder about the difficulty involved in folks knowing deeply that they truly have given forgiveness especially to someone or situation that seemingly does not “deserve” it. Actually, they do not deserve forgiveness, and neither do we. It is the grace of God that makes forgiveness even possible. Let us get our eyes off “deserving”, whether it is the other or if it is us. And set our eyes and hearts on the “grace” aspect. It is His love!!

This chapter opens with the story of a woman who is bound in hatred, hatred toward her father. As a teacher, a question from a young student caused this woman to ponder deeply and she still pondered the question as she dozed off. She slept on it and when she woke up in the morning, she did not hear anything, and did not see anything, but she experienced an impression of Christ on the cross saying the words, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” This was God’s gift of a revelation from His Spirit to the woman. She states, “At that moment it was as though a tremendous weight was lifted from me.” The hatred she had been experiencing had blocked her relationship with God. She found that if Jesus could accept crucifixion in the spirit of forgiveness, then she should be able to forgive also. Jesus’ words gave her a pattern for forgiving and also released power in her to be able to forgive.

“The Christian imperative to forgive those who have inflicted pain on us is a call to imitate Jesus. However, we are not called to imitate Christ in our own strength…as we will to forgive, he imparts his strength to us. The word of forgiveness spoken on the cross is also spoken in us.”

The Seven Steps of Forgiveness
“Forgiveness unlocks the door to healing, restoration, freedom and renewal.” We cannot be healed of hurts without our forgiving those that wounded us. As the lack of forgiveness kept the lady above from a relationship with God, so with us that have experienced deep woundedness, a lack of forgiveness keeps us from receiving that healing we so desire.

Preparing to Forgive: steps 1 – 3 are directed toward the past.
1) Facing the facts.
To be ruthlessly honest about what was done to us is so painful in itself…but we must not have excuses. We must see it in “all its horror, dirt, meanness and malice” and yet being reconciled to the person responsible.

2) Feeling the hurt.
To connect with the feelings that are involved in rejection, loneliness, fear, anger, shame and depression is no small feat. Henri Nouwen’s quote is so apropos here:

“The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand them, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them. The choice you face constantly is whether you are taking your wounds to your head or to your heart. In your head you can analyze them, find their causes and consequences, and coin words to speak and write about them. But no final healing is likely to come from that source. You need to let your wounds go down into your heart.”

3) Confronting our hate.
Forgiving involves letting go of hatred or resentment toward the persons who have wounded us but it does take acknowledging it. We must admit we resent those who wronged us, for a part of us hates them for what they did. Forgiveness is not blaming ourselves…even though we may not be completely innocent, but forgiveness requires the courage to confront our hatred.

The Heart of Forgiveness: steps 4 – 5 are focused on the present.
4) Bearing the pain.
This is well said in the quote the author used by Theologian H.R. Macintosh: “In every great forgiveness there is enshrined a great agony.”
When we forgive, we bear pain. God in Christ carried and bore that pain as well. When we forgive others, we are bearing, absorbing the pain and taking the punishment that the other deserves….not to replace what Christ did, but Christ in and through us is bearing that pain and punishment.

5) Releasing those who have wronged us.I thought it was interesting that when we forgive, we relinquish the role of judge, jury and executioner and actually turn the other over to God…as stated it involves a voluntary “releasing a person or thing over which one has legal or actual control.” “vengeance is not mine, but Thine alone.” And it carries some risk. Because, as the author states, when I choose to put down the sword, it is like I put down myself. This resentment and executioner part may become part of our identity and what would there be without it?

The David Augsburger quote is deep in itself. “'forgive’ is an extended, expanded, strengthened form of the verb to give. This speaks of giving at its deepest level, of self-giving, of giving forth and giving up deeply held parts of the self.” When we give up control to God, His presence and power are released.A clarifying thought…that bearing the pain and releasing those who have wronged us has to do with our attitudes; seeking justice has to do with our actions toward them. It offers them “an opportunity to face the truth about themselves, admit and turn from it.

Starting Over: steps 6 – 7 focuses on the future.
6) Assuming Responsibility for ourselves.
When we forgive, we have to begin to take responsibility for our own choices. We can’t blame someone else. It seems in our society that you are better off as being victimized. But when we do take responsibility, we declare that what happened doesn’t define who we are…our identity is not our pain. Just think, finally finding our own identity apart from the pain…we want to know who we really are. We can see that losing our victim identity can be like losing a friend. Pain and resentment falsely attempts to meet our needs. So we must release them in order to be free to determine our destiny apart from any wounds. What painful joy.

7) Longing for Reconciliation.
Forgiveness works by creating in us that longing for reconciliation even if the other is not willing to be reconciled with us. Forgiveness has a negative side in that it is about letting go of bitterness and revoking revenge. That in itself is healing. But forgiveness has a positive side in that it is about reconciling, the coming together of persons who have been alienated to each other. I think I will vote for both to be effective.

Forgiving at the Cross:
“The process of forgiving brings us to the cross of Christ. So, as Christians, we forgive not only in the presence of an offender but also at the foot of the cross in the presence of Christ.” II Cor 2:10 is used as a reference.

It seems it could be difficult to reason that forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. We choose to forgive even with some negative emotions. And, of course, we can get the help of our Lord to make us willing to forgive when needed. The author goes on to say that on the cross, Jesus bore the wrongs done to him but He also bore the wrongs done to us. As He was forgiving those who wronged Him, could He as well forgive those who wronged us?

I just have to put in this quote by Leanne Payne that the author uses: “From this person I had suffered assaults that were irrational and weighted by envy, lying, and slander. But on this day a final act came to light, one that to me was and still is unthinkable, one designed to destroy me and all I held dear. The act went right to the core of me. In pain and amazement, I knew for the first time how in the passion of hate one person could kill another human being…I fell to me knees and cried out to God for help. “Please do not let me hate,” I cried over and over. Getting no relief, I phoned a friend to come over and help me pray. All afternoon, having thrown myself face down over the living room ottoman, I cried out to God and my prayer partner cried out with me…Then came a moment when instantly my pleading was interrupted by an amazing awareness of Christ in me, and from that center where He and I were mysteriously one, forgiveness was extended to my enemy. It was as if Christ in and through me forgave the person (who can explain such a thing?)…yet I too forgave.”

Like Leanne, we obtain grace in his presence to release resentment and revenge. As we wait at the cross Jesus will speak the forgiving word in us.

I suppose we all would agree with the author that this forgiveness process happens over time and layer by layer. And following forgiveness, we often experience an overwhelming sense of sadness and I found that this sadness lingers awhile. Sadness is hard to beat. Actually, I have come to sense that this “sadness” can be turned into an intercession—sensing the sadness in a situation, the world situation, or in a person. I remember listening through the night to healing worship music as well as some Taize music. The releasing of these hurts and the receiving of healing deepens in our lives. The many “emotional twists” along the way doesn’t mean we start over but we reaffirm our will to forgive and again, ask the Lord to deepen it.

There is grace to forgive…let us partake of it in any area of our life where it is needed.“Father, forgive them.” Cause us, cause me, to walk in forgiveness, Lord. You are Grace.

Read this rendition of The Beatitudes as done by the Taize brothers...would be great to have the music along with it. This is one song I listened to over and over again for quite some time.

Happy all who are poor in spirit

For the kingdom of heaven is theirs

Happy all those who now are weeping

The joy of God will comfort them

Happy all the humble the gentle

For the earth one day will be theirs

Happy all who for justice hunger

They shall receive their heart’s desire

Happy all with hearts clear and simple

For they shall come to see their God

Happy all creators of true peace

They shall be called the children of God

Happy all suffering persecution

For the kingdom of heaven is theirs

Happy all who persevere for Christ

For in God they’ll be filled with joy

For next week, we will read chapter 9: “Love Your Enemies.”

We begin the book Enjoying God by S. J. Hill (Relevant Books) on May 11. Enjoying God will challenge and encourage you to pursue a passionate, intimate relationship with God. The book exposes misunderstandings that can damage and jeopardize your faith and it uncovers a biblical understanding of God as Father. God will move you from duty to delight in your relationship with Christ.

Wounds that Heal - Week #7

We have completed the first part of this book (The Cross and the Damaging Effects of Human Hurts); this week we start the second part (The Cross and the Path to Healing).

Chapter seven is entitled Embracing the Pain. Before reading this chapter for the purpose of this blog, I asked the Holy Spirit to make the cross of Jesus more real to me than ever. I didn’t want to read this chapter as an academic exercise simply because I needed to write this posting. The Lord heard my prayer, and He began speaking to me; and so I want to encourage you to ask the same of Him as you read this chapter and/or blog.

The author begins this chapter by underscoring the reality that “healing happens not by avoiding suffering but by accepting and actively bearing it. Those on the healing path must be willing to walk into and through – not away from or around – pain.” He points to the crucifixion, saying that Jesus’ extended arms illustrate the vulnerability and full acceptance of the pain that is necessary for us to come into healing.

Satan constantly tried to get Jesus to accomplish the will of God by means other than God’s way. All the way to the cross, Jesus resisted this temptation (the wilderness temptation, Peter’s attempt to spare Him of death, the Garden of Gethsemane…); and then while hanging on the cross, one last chance to numb the pain was offered Him (“wine mixed with myrrh” – Mark 15:23), and He said no. Seamands quotes Klass Schilder:
“…The life-work accomplished in thirty-three years is now in danger of drowning
in a single cup of myrrh. But the human soul of Christ did not accentuate this
moment at the cost of introducing discord into the logic of His whole life…”

By refusing to take the pain-killing drink, Jesus chose to experience pain’s full power. Frank Lake (in Clinical Theology) says,
“The incarnate Word went into almost total silence, and into such darkness
that He could not be seen by human eyes during those three hours in which
He bore the dreadful limits of redemptive identification with all the worst
forms of human suffering…Neither the anxiety of commitment he experienced
in Gethsemane…nor the anxiety of separation in the final dereliction, diverted
Him for one moment from his path of obedient redemptive suffering.”

As I read this section of the chapter, I worshipped the Lord and remembered the Scripture in John 13:1 which says that “…as He had loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them to the last and to the highest degree” (Amplified). Knowing the inability in my own flesh to persevere in the face of pain and difficulty, especially when it’s long-term, I love Him more as I meditate on the cross and His loving me (and all persons) to the bitter end by refusing even the smallest pain medication when the pain was at its worst.

The author points out that we Americans are particularly resistant to facing pain because it is “out of keeping with our inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” He contends that this is part of why we find it so hard to face pain and suffering. In quoting Scott Peck, he says that the primary cause of mental illness is the avoidance of problems and the emotional suffering there is in facing the problems. We Christians use religious activity and busyness as a favorite means to escape facing pain that we’ve covered up for so long that we’re numb to it, yet not beyond its damaging work deep within us.

Facing the Pain
As we walk with the Lord and He brings light to a particular area of hurt that has not been faced and healed, whether it be small or large, it’s important that we get very honest with Him and ourselves about the impact it had on us at the time of the occurrence. Like Jesus we need to open wide our arms in a posture of vulnerability rather than one of self-protection; but this is impossible to do on our own if we really want to face it and walk through it and out of it.
Christian healing is based on the work of Calvary, making it radically different from psychological healing. For true healing to happen, it must be grounded in the sufferings of Jesus. True and eternal transformation is only possible in Him through the work of His Spirit.

Seamands says, “The way to healing is to face the pain. Instead of pulling back (from it), we push into the pain and then through it.” He makes reference to Much Afraid in the wonderful classic Hinds’ Feet on High Places, whose heart was struck with fear when she found out that her traveling companions to the high places were Suffering and Sorrow; none of us wants this kind of companionship in our maturing in God, but like Much Afraid, we cannot get to the high places in Him without it.

Stepping into the Pain
Every person is unique in their makeup and life experience and response to life, so there is no cookie cutter method for all; but there are some general steps that people pass through when they embrace the pain.
1. Breaking through denial. The author tells his own story of how he finally faced the
negative side of having been put in a boarding school when his parents were missionaries. He had always covered up the negative experiences connected with that by always talking about the positive aspects of it.
2. Recovering painful memories. When we have agreed to walk with the Lord in healing, He may begin to surface painful memories from our past. Dreams and/or flashbacks that are triggered by sounds or experiences in the present are some ways that this happens.
3. Owning anger. “Anger can be a frightening emotion, especially if we were raised in an environment where we were not allowed to feel or express it…Anger can become a wild, violent, even dangerous emotion when it’s been bottled up inside for years. For many, the healing path involves the fearful, unpleasant task of stepping directly into it.”
4. Admitting our guilt. No matter how we have been sinned against, we have all sinned. Even as victims, we sin in our response to the sin against us. I often think of Jesus in this context; no one has been sinned against as He has and yet He never sinned in response. This is not true of us, and it is our sinful response that compounds the pain and bondage, so admitting our guilt is necessary to come into genuine healing.
5. Grieving losses. It’s important to be honest about what we have lost because of sin; we need to allow ourselves to feel sad about what has been lost. One teacher I heard speaking on the importance of healthy grieving said that the purpose of grieving is to be able to let go of what could have been in order to move on to what now can be. When we don’t grieve well, we are still attached to that which we have lost.
6. Descending into depression. In some cases, the process of facing and embracing the reality of what has happened can throw a person into deep darkness for awhile. Seamands tells the story of one woman who this happened to who described it this way:
“For a year I fell into a deep depression. Obviously, this wasn’t my idea of healing. At the time, I felt like I was moving ‘backwards’ instead of ‘forwards.’…In a strange way, even though I knew the hope of Christ, my heart felt bereft of hope. The sadness and grief kept pouring out of me and there was no end in sight.”

Someone who goes through this degree of depression and darkness will need others to help
them in prayer and believe for them until they break through into the light.

Standing in Your Pain at the Cross
“Even if initially we can embrace the pain, how will we ever endure it? The answer lies at the foot of the cross. Standing there, we are given the strength…His cross not only provides the pattern of actively bearing suffering; it also offers the power we need to confront the darkness in our souls. We discover that Jesus’ open arms (on the cross) are also God’s everlasting arms, embracing us and bearing us up…

His courage and determination is imparted to us. As we stand beneath the cross like a patient facing a painful operation, we are able to say to Jesus, our great physician and surgeon, ‘I am ready.’ In Christ, we can open our arms to embrace the pain and endure the suffering necessary for healing…”

Once again I will quote Frank Lake who says of the cross: “The Cross of Christ placards God’s proof that He knows and can bear the ‘truth in the inward parts.’ The truth in the inward parts of the human race all came out in the Crucifixion of the Son of God. Now we know, if we could not believe it before, that God is well aware what it is like to live in the world he has made.”

In the Christian community, and especially in the “missions world”, we talk a lot about suffering for the Lord, and that is an important and core truth to keep before the followers of the Lamb. What I missed for so many years was the understanding that the suffering that persons have gone through at the hand of others in their infancy or formative years, if walked through and out of with Jesus, counts in this call to suffer for His sake. We tend to look “out there” to suffer for Jesus without realizing that there may be some severe suffering we need to embrace related to our past; walking through that with Him is necessary in order to lay down our lives healthily in other ways for Him. The psalmist says that God requires “truth in the inward parts”, and that means being willing to face whatever He may want to bring up that is still festering in hiddenness.

We cannot do this work; it’s the work of the Holy Spirit. But we can say “yes” to Him and then allow Him to uncover whatever He knows needs to be uncovered. If He begins to surface things, it will come accompanied with grace and power and always in the context of Calvary. Isaiah 53 says that by His wounds we are healed. Ask the Lord to reveal whatever He pleases and to aid you in seeing your wounds in the light of His.

Next week is chapter eight which is about forgiveness. I will be traveling, and Joan Frazerhurst has graciously agreed to fill in for me again – thank you, Joan. I believe Sue has given you notice that our next book will be Enjoying God by S.J. Hill. The Lord bless you; He is with you always (including right now)!

Wounds that Heal - Week #6

The overall theme of Part One of this book is The Cross and the Damaging Effects of Human Hurts. Our chapter for this week (chapter 6 - Deliverance for Those Who are Bound) is the final chapter in this section and it’s about demonization.

When Satan attacks you, command him in Jesus’ name to bend his neck. On the back of it, you’ll find a nail-scarred footprint! (E. Stanley Jones)

In dealing with a seminary graduate who was about to begin a new pastoral assignment with his church and who had a problem with uncontrollable rage, Stephen Seamands explained to him that his rage was like a fire, and “Bill” was seeking to keep it under control through the power of the Holy Spirit. But demonic powers, having gained an entry point into his life, could be likened to someone pouring gasoline on the fire while he was trying to keep it under control. “They act as hypercatalysts, piggy-backing on existing problems so that at times our behavior seems almost compulsive. Our willpower simply isn’t strong enough to withstand their onslaughts. For Christians who are demonized, in certain areas of their lives the playing field, instead of being level, is such a steep uphill incline it’s almost impossible for them to run the race for Christ victoriously.”

Throughout the chapter, the author underscores that this demonic influence is not the root problem, however. Demons are like rats that are attracted to garbage, and so it’s very important to deal with the “garbage” (be that personal sin or the sin of others against us or lack of forgiveness, etc.). Once the garbage is cleaned up, it is easy to get rid of the “rats.” Another issue to address is that of any possible occult activities, even if they seem innocent enough. It’s important to renounce any involvement in this.

Although Bill had prayed through childhood roots of his anger, he still was a slave to it. Seamands took Bill through several steps of dealing with his spiritual and emotional garbage, leading him to repent and renounce his turning to anger and rage as a “friend” to help him deal with his problems. Together then they cancelled any generational bond of anger that he had with his father and grandfather who both manifested the same sin.

On the basis of I John 1:7-9 they declared that Bill was forgiven and cleansed.

Seamands then confronted the demons directly with the authority of Christ, and the demons left him.

Upon receiving fresh cleansing and deliverance, the author then invited the Holy Spirit to fill Bill afresh, asking Him to take control of those areas that been under demonic influence. He told Bill to keep short accounts with God in order to not open the door again to the evil powers, and he encouraged him to keep moving toward emotional wholeness and to establish regular times of prayer and reading the Scriptures.

The testimony of Bill five years later was that while he had normal struggles with anger, he had not once had anything approaching the rage he used to experience.

The Demonization of Christians
In this section the author addresses the question related to whether or not a Christian can have demons. He begins by saying that “most emotional hurts do not result in demonization.”

He goes on to explain why he uses the word “demonization” rather than “demon-possessed” (which suggests total ownership and control). Demonization is “more compatible with the varying degrees of internal control that demons may exert on persons. It’s also a word that can be used to describe genuine Christians (who)…in certain areas of their lives, demons continue to exert a significant measure of internal control.”

Terry Wardle suggests four ways in which demonized persons experience demonic activity:
1. Harassment – the demon doesn’t keep the person away from his course but seeks to bother and discourage (like a mosquito buzzing around his head)
2. Oppression – like a fog, the person finds it difficult to stay on trace and battles varying levels of emotional and spiritual oppression.
3. Affliction – demons seek to bring emotional, spiritual and physical suffering to the person in the effort to defeat and demoralize him.
4. Bondage – possible because of personal choices to give room to this. Despite personal efforts to move beyond the problem of sinful behavior, the person finds it hard to resist and repeatedly fails to find freedom.

Nailed to the Cross
Jesus cast out demons throughout His public ministry, engaging in warfare and combat with Satan. However, there was a climactic battle when “Jesus inflicted a mortal wound on Satan. That battle was fought and won on the cross where the serpent Satan’s head was crushed. Genesis 3:15…”

How did He defeat Satan on the cross? Through His unswerving and voluntary obedience, Jesus refused to turn away from His Father or hate his enemies or resort to violence against them. In His remaining free and uncontaminated and uncompromised, the devil could find nothing in Jesus to gain a hold of, and he finally had to concede defeat.

Although Jesus cast out demons in His ministry, on the cross He did not overcome power with power. “The battle Jesus and Satan fought there wasn’t like the clash of two titans locked in a mortal struggle to the death. Instead, Jesus won the battle by erasing the record that stood against us and satisfying its legal demands. Augustine said it well: ‘It pleased God that for the sake of rescuing men from the power of the devil, the devil should be overcome not by power but by justice.’”

“Through his death, then, Jesus has stamped ‘Paid in full’ on the record that stood against us. He declared it (the IOU) null and void…And because it has been nailed to the cross, the devil now has no rightful claim on us. The Accuser…no longer has any legal accusation to bring against us…Jesus won the decisive battle in the war not through a direct frontal attack on the evil one but by removing his right to hold us in his power…By liberating us from sin, he has also liberated us from Satan.”

Deliverance from Demonization
“…they (Christians) are demonized in the sense that demons still maintain a significant level of control or influence in specific areas of their lives. How then are they to be set free from demonic harassment, oppression, affliction and bondage?...Jesus’ victory at the cross provides the pattern. Instead of engaging in a direct cosmic struggle with the prince of darkness, he removed the basis for Satan’s dominion over us by taking our sin and nailing it to the cross, canceling our debt and wiping our slate clean. In finding freedom from demonization, that should be our focus too – not demons themselves but the basis for their dominion in our lives.

…Make no mistake, there is a legitimate time and place for direct confrontation…But that should not be our primary focus.”

Seamands ends the chapter with the counsel not to immediately jump to the conclusion that you are demonized in a particular area of your life but rather to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into all truth and to seek out someone experienced in healing prayer and these areas who can help you discern if there is a “significant demonic component to your problem or whether it si only spiritual, psychological or physiological in nature…Above all, continue to work on the spiritual and emotional garbage in your life…keep seeking forgiveness and release from your sins and healing for your wounds.”

To close out this posting, I want to quote a line from this chapter that I quoted earlier here:
“The Accuser…no longer has any legal accusation to bring against us…”

Sometimes when I pray with someone who is tormented by past sin and can’t seem to shake it off even though they have confessed and repented and received forgiveness, I will remind them of this truth and of the fact that they have a Lawyer (Advocate) Who will speak on their behalf when the accuser comes to draw them into debates with him about their case. Just like a lawyer tells the accused not to talk when asked questions about their case, so we can refer the accuser to our heavenly Advocate, Jesus, and let Him answer with the truth. We are not capable of winning a debate with the devil, but he knows (even better than we know) that he doesn’t stand a chance against the Lord Jesus. The name of Jesus is a strong tower to which we can run when being harassed by the demonic forces.

Lord Jesus, I pray that we will increasingly find our rest and freedom in Your work on Calvary. Holy Spirit, expose any area where demonic influence could be keeping us trapped in patterns of sin that we have no power over. We look to the cross and say “Thank You for nullifying and erasing completely the debt we owe and for stripping the evil powers of any grounds for accusing us.” We worship You, dear Lord, and put our trust in You alone. Thank You that You hear our prayer!

The second part of this book is about “The Cross and the Path to Healing.” We will cover chapter seven next week (“Embracing the Pain”). God bless you this week!

Wounds that Heal - Week #5

Chapter five (He Led Captivity Captive) is about the cross of Christ and our addictions, which take the form of the blatant addictions, such as drugs, alcoholism, sex, and the more subtle ones, such as workaholism, food, control, people-pleasing, perfectionism, etc.

For shortage of time this week, I will simply quote from much of this chapter to give you a taste of its contents.

Stephen Seamands tells of Gary Moon’s observation after years of counseling as a clinical psychologist: he was struck by how unique each person’s problems were and yet there was also an “amazing similarity” in them, common threads running through their stories. He concluded that with each person with whom he had multiple visits, three distinct themes come up. These themes are:

• Compassion deficits
• Behavioral narcotics
• The two selves

Compassion deficits: this refers to failure to receive unconditional love and compassion, particularly in the formative years of one’s life. Just like a car engine needs oil to run smoothly, so human beings need unconditional love to function. After many years of functioning without this, eventually the damage to the human soul is such that he/she must find some way to cope with the pain and emptiness in order to continue. The way we do this is to turn to behavioral narcotics, which function as pain killers. These pain killers come in the form of chemical substances such as drugs or alcohol, but many people find their relief in “patterns and habits of behavior, relating, or coping.”

The most common non-chemical narcotics that Gary Moon has found among people are:

• Habits of workaholism (busyness – filling the mind so full of thoughts, dreams and activities of success that there is little room left to feel pain caused by irrational, underlying feelings of inadequacy)
• Habits of control (striving to control)
• Habits of people pleasing (constant monitoring of what others expect from us so that we can avoid the pain of their rejection by minimizing its likelihood)
• Habits of dependency (surrendering our will to the will of another for reasons of fear and self-diagnosed inadequacy)
• Habits of perfectionism (wearing a mask of perfection and rightness to cover inner turmoil and ambiguity)
• Habits of escape (taking emotional vacations from pain through the use of alcohol, drugs, or self-destructive patterns of pain-delaying behavior)

The third theme is the conflict between the two selves. The false self and the true self fight for the person’s heart throne. The false self wants to maintain control with its message of running to behavioral narcotics for peace; but the true self wants more than this. The true self wants restoration of the rightful order in which the peace and love of God reign in the person’s life.

This chapter focuses on the second of these three themes: behavioral narcotics.

“So many in America today have fallen into such compulsive, unmanageable patterns that addiction has become one of our most pressing and pervasive social problems…does the cross have a message for those struggling with addictions?”

The author tells of a pastor who served his congregation for 20 years before they found out about his sexual addiction. In his own words, he expressed what the typical experience of many is: “As I looked back over the years, I began to realize that I was overtaken in childhood. It was then that seeds of addiction were planted…My childhood as characterized by a lack of emotional openness and human closeness. I was taught…that men don’t hug, men don’t cry, and men don’t show their feelings.” He told of how as a child during a thunderstorm one night, in his fright he crawled into this parents’ bed for protection. His father woke up and pushed him onto the floor; when he cried in response to the rejection, his father told him that big boys don’t cry. He was also molested as a young boy by farm workers.

Most addicts have experienced significant compassion deficits; out of the addictive root, an addictive mindset emerges which has 3 core beliefs:

• I am fundamentally bad, a worthless person and undeserving of love.
• No one would love me if they really knew me.
• If I don’t meet my needs, they’ll never get met.

(All of these beliefs contradict what the Scriptures reveal to us about God’s estimation of us.)

Besides an addictive mindset, compassion deficits fuel anger. “…addicts are very angry people. Their anger feeds on itself as they reflect endlessly on how they have been hurt and what the world owes them. They cannot relate to others intimately, because their anger blocks their giving of self.”

When does something that only functioned as a “behavioral narcotic” (or a coping mechanism) become an addiction? The author quotes Gerald May who gives five characteristics of all addictions: 1) tolerance – needing more to get the same relief as before; 2) withdrawal symptoms; 3) self-deception; 4) loss of willpower – divided will; 5) distortion of attention – unable to fix attention on anything but the object of their addiction.

The word that sums up the condition of an addict is powerless.

The All-powerful One becomes Powerless
“In contrast to the addict who grasps for power through some behavioral narcotic, during his final hours Christ the all-powerful One chose to become powerless.” (John 10:17,18)

At every turn in the story of His suffering, Jesus was the One in charge. He handed Himself over to the authorities; He presented Himself as the One being looked for in the garden; even His words, “I am” caused them to fall to the ground, so powerful was the force of His words and presence.

Jesus’ relinquishing of freedom and power intensified all the way to the cross. Seamands quotes Klaas Schilder who shows this descent into powerlessness by Jesus in three ways:
1) When he was arrested and bound, He was robbed of His power to act freely.
2) When sentenced to death in His trial, He was robbed of His power to speak freely.
3) On the cross in the mocking and taunting, His power to think freely abandoned Him.

Colossians 2:15 “And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in the cross.” (NIV) We saw how through crucifixion, the political and religious leaders intended to make a public spectacle of Jesus but instead, by enduring that shame, he actually made them a public spectacle, shaming them by exposing their true colors. They were not God’s allies as they claimed…

Col. 2:15 speaks of the cross itself as a victory. Jesus tells why this is when He says in John 14:30,31 “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no power over me; but I do as the Father has commanded me.” So not even in death could Satan gain power over Jesus, and as a result of His voluntarily yielding to His Father’s will, Jesus exposed the devil’s ultimate weapon, which is the “power of illusion.” Through this power, the evil forces convince us that they are equal to God and thereby seduce us into bowing in worship to them.

Jesus refused to be seduced into bowing to Satan and demonstrated this by voluntarily laying down His life in obedience to God, the only Creator and One worthy of worship. All the way to the cross Jesus kept making known to the authorities that they had no power over Him and that He was going this way by choice. Each step of the way was exposing the powerlessness of the devil and his forces.

“He overcame not by launching an all-out frontal attack on his adversaries or by beating them at their own game but through the power of suffering love. He chose the way of forgiveness, not retaliation; meekness, not self-assertion (I Peter 2:23)…He took everything the powers of evil could throw at him yet remained free, uncontaminated, uncompromised…Christ’s resurrection from the dead and his exaltation to God’s right hand confirmed and proclaimed the victory he won on the cross…Now the tables have been turned. Death is under his feet (Eph. 4:8)”

What Does the Cross say to Those in Addictions?
First, we must admit we are powerless over our addictions. Our willpower is no match for the power of our addictions. The only power we have is the power to admit we are powerless…We cannot deny nor despair over it but must rather embrace it.

Second, in our powerlessness we must cry out to Jesus for his strength is made perfect in our weakness…The Lord can break the chains of our addictions. So we must call on him to deliver us and give him permission to do anything necessary to set us free.

Third, in our powerlessness we must reach out to others for help…achieving freedom from addiction will involve a long, difficult process…not only is there an addictive behavior cycle to break but there is an addictive mindset (lies we’ve believed) and addictive root (wounds/compassion deficits) that must be changed…The goal isn’t just to get the noose off the soul, but to become someone who is experiencing all that God has for him.

Because Jesus willingly became a slave in obedience to His Father, He made captive that which captures us in whatever form of bondage we may be in. May His grace rest heavily on us to believe what He has done, whether for our own addictions or those of the dear ones He has placed us with.

There is an amazing story at the end of this chapter about a man taken captive by the Nazis and chained to a bed in prison. In his despair he sensed that he needed to kiss the chains that bound him and when he did, he experienced inner freedom - read the entire story, if you can!

The questions at the end of this chapter are especially helpful, so I encourage you to go through those, if this has resonated in a particular way for you. The Lord bless you and keep you and may His countenance shine on you this week!

Next week we will go through chapter six: Deliverance for Those Who are Bound.