This week we have read the second chapter of In the Name of Jesus, in which Henri Nouwen calls the Christian to make the shift from "popularity to ministry." Nouwen says early in this chapter:
"...I came to see that I had lived most of my life as a tightrope artist trying to walk on a high, thin cable from one tower to the other, always waiting for the applause when I had not fallen off and broken my leg."
As I read this, I'm picturing what it is that people applaud for; it's for some kind of visible performance, whether that be in the arts or in service or in leadership, etc.; and the better one performs, the louder the applause. When I was a young missionary-in-training, I wanted to do the "most difficult" thing a Christian could do to prove how spiritual I was. Looking back, I know now that I wanted to be popular and well-liked by a certain segment of society. I was willing to do the most difficult things I could imagine in order to have people's applause.
Desiring applause is not evil. God created us for applause. Where it is sinful is the source to which I look for applause. Jeremiah 2:13 says, "...my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." In various and subtle ways, we look for applause through what we can do that will get people's attention. And if we can do it better than the next guy, then people will notice me more and give louder applause. This is as common in the life of the missionary as it is in the life of the marketplace person. None of us is immune.
Because of the faithfulness of God and because He saw the true Nita that wanted to partner with Him in His will even more than I wanted to be popular, He was able to set my feet on a path I would have esteemed as not so sacrificial. I see now that He knew the best context for me to grow in His love and where I would best minister to Him and to others.
Nouwen goes on to say that Jesus, in the process of restoring Peter in love, calls him to be a shepherd of the flock...not a domineering shepherd that issues commands from a distance but one who is in relationship with his flock. In biblical ministry (no matter what form that takes), we are in partnership with others and are known for who we really are; we can minister from a place of not having to prove that we're perfect or the best. Nouwen's words about the need to minister together, rather than alone, are wonderful..."whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us...true ministry must be mutual. When the members of a community of faith cannot truly know and love their shepherd, shepherding quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others and begins to show authoritarian and dictatorial traits..." As much as I possibly can, I minister with someone else alongside me and find that to be much more effective than being alone.
The author's suggested spiritual discipline to overcome this temptation to want to be the best in order to get the applause of others is the discipline of confession and forgiveness. All believers, leaders and followers alike, must be people who practice what Mother Basilea Schlink calls "daily repentance"...a daily attitude of willingness to change my way of thinking, then taking the needed steps of confession and receiving forgiveness whenever necessary. James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed."
Lord Jesus, by Your cross and Spirit, deliver and heal us more and more from the drivenness to be applauded by others. As we do the works of the Kingdom under Your Lordship and smile, cause us to be more and more like You who found Your identity and motivation for action in the Father's praise rather than in people's praises. What a place of freedom and joy! May the spirit of grace rest on us to quickly confess and receive forgiveness in our relationships, thereby knowing one another and undoing the power of "false heroism"...thank You, Lord!
The third and final chapter of In the Name of Jesus deals with Jesus' temptation towards power and control. Though some of us may not have a position title as such, the desire for power in order to control is in all of us. Nouwen suggests that the discipline of "theological reflection" is needed in order to shift from "leading to being led."
A couple of questions to consider, if they help:
- What does the author mean by "theological reflection"?
- How was Jesus' choice to not yield to Satan's temptation a picture of what the cross was all about?
Nita, Your comments were very thought provoking and certainly caused reflection. You mentioned a time when you were an MIT that you wanted to go someplace difficult. I was opposite, I was sure God would send me to the jungles of Borneo (I had no intention of going) and I wouldn't survive. (By the way, I always perceived you to be spiritual while I was busy kicking and screaming, you seemed so aligned with God's purposes and had such a calm spirit). I wasn't worried about being spiritual or even obedient (I know I was, still can be quite a case - good thing He's the potter)but I also realize now that I didn't trust God's love and of course, God didn't send me to Borneo. How unspiritual it sometimes feels to be in a secular job working with a wide array of people. I sometimes think I missed a turn (actually I missed many)but then I'm reminded that I'm not a mouse in a maze and God's plans for me are not dependent on a right or left turn. Applause is something we desire from people, but when received, it is very fleeting and unfulfilling. The real fulfillment and spirituality comes from God loving me always and forgiving me always and hearing the crys of my heart always and the songs of my heart (offkey)always. My spirituality comes not from what I do but from who He is. How incredibly amazing that His love is unchanging.
ReplyDeleteThanks, M.W., for your remarks; it's beautiful to see the faithfulness and loving persistance of God to work with each of us, no matter what condition our hearts are in. Over the years I've come to see clearly that so often those that we consider "holy" are not necessarily any more holy than others whose temperament may appear on the surface to be outside the box (as far as the religious definition of holy goes). So while I don't deny that my walk with the Lord was very sincere as a younger Christian, there has been a lot of hidden stuff underneath that He, by His grace and power, has gone after in order that the life flowing from me is Jesus' life and not simply a nice human personality separate from Him; only Jesus' life released from within me gives life to others.
ReplyDeleteI love your statement: "Applause is something we desire from people, but when received, it is very fleeting and unfulfilling." Well said! It feels good for a moment but then we need more to keep us happy - people's applause is a "broken cistern that holds no water". God's applause heals and affirms and empowers us to obey Him in love.
This one isn't tied to the book but it was pretty miraculous so I wanted to share with those who can appreciate God's faithfulness and protection.
ReplyDeleteLast Thursday, we were preparing to move the remainder of son's belongings to college in North Dakota. As I was cleaning things up in the kitchen, I lit a candle on the table. It's probably a six inch candle and maybe 3 inches in diameter. In my mind, I told myself to make sure to blow it out before I went to bed. The candle was already half way burned and burgundy in color so you really couldn't see the reflection of the light.
On Sunday night we returned home, walked in the door and into the kitchen and my husband graciously said, " Did we leave a candle burning all weekend?" Well, we didn't, but I did. I had totally forgotten about that candle and it was still burning. This was a cheap candle from Target and I was absolutely amazed that it had not started the candle ring on fire and burned my house down or at least caused significant damage. The candle was soft from burning so long but not collapsed, still burning, no spilled wax....Amazing - Very Thankful for God's protection!