Holy Rewired - "Who You Have Become"

As I read this third chapter ("Who You have Become"), it brought to mind something that C.S. Lewis and Leanne Payne have said that I believe accurately describes the fallen human condition:

C.S. Lewis: "We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness."

Leanne Payne's commentary on C.S. Lewis' words is,"Born lonely, we try hard to fit in, to be the kind of person that will cause others to like us. Craving and needing very much the affirmation of others, we compromise, put on any face, or many faces; we do even those things we do not like to do in order to fit in. We are bent toward the creature, attempting to find our identity in him. Slowly and compulsively the false self closes its hard, brittle shell around us, and our loneliness remains. Only worship of the Creator can bring us to discovering our one true face..."

David Phillips begins this chapter saying: "Each of us has an identity. Our identity develops from our environment, family, social networks, experiences and even how we think of ourselves. In addition...we are created in the image of God...Though sin distorted that image, it still exists within us...Our identity is formed in our childhood and is wired in our brains. Thankfully, that wiring is not permanent...The brain can potentially change its structure with each different activity it performs...Interestingly, if part of the brain fails, other parts can and will take over those tasks. The name scientists give this brain property is neuroplasticity.

"The systems and structures that display the greatest plasticity are those most subject to experience and environment...The experiences we have and the environments in which we grow up result in a formation of behaviors that, to be changed, must be unlearned by changing the way the brain functions."

The main portion of this chapter, then, is an interesting look into the biblical family of Abraham and how all of this played out with Abraham and Sarah, then with Isaac and Rebekah, then Jacob and Rachel and Esau (Gen. 12, 15, 16, 21, 25, 26, 27, 34, 37...).

The author points out: "By observing the actions of Abraham's descendants, we can see how family dynamics and life experiences impact our own behavior. This will give us insight to be able to confirm much of what we already know - we act, think and talk like those with whom we are in deep relationship."

Phillips observes Abram's character flaws. "This is more than sin. His life is filled with deceit resulting from fear...Positively, we also note Abram's propensity for obedience." This is seen later in Isaac as well. Throughout the family story, we see great insecurity and fear among family members that causes the attempts to circumvent the promises of God and make them happen through human means. There is also a strong pattern of tension between siblings and favoritism and deceit with similar character flaws showing up among them. "...as those flaws flow into the descendants, they become more intense."

The author suggests at least three common negative patterns through Abraham's family line: "The first is a pattern of lies and deceit...A second pattern is that at least one parent in each of the generations has a favorite child. Finally, sibling rivalry and relational cutoff between family members create tension that shows up in all three generations."

The chapter ends with concluding statements about who we have become and how we begin to believe those things that we have carefully acted out in front of others in our attempt to present a certain image we want them to believe about us. "For instance, if we want others to think of us as the smart one in the room, we may try to gather a lot of information about many topics so we can maintain this perceived identity", little realizing that in time we internalize this identity and believe it to be who we are.

"The environment in which we grow up and the relationships we have, particularly those early formative years, will affect our understanding about who we are and how we act and feel...Continuous exposure to people and experiences in that environment will literally wire our brain to automatically produce similar behaviors.

"Not only does the environment wire behaviors in the brain, but those experiences can also ingrain the same fears, insecurities, and other damaging emotions in us that existed in that environment. Those emotions will drive our behavior, especially destructive behavior, though we may never consciously understand why we behave as we do. If we do not explore the impact our family, other relationships, and experiences have on our lives, we will recreate that same environment for our own family...

"There is hope. Our hope comes from being 'in Christ.' Often, however, before we can experience the hope, we need to confront the impact of our emotions and experiences. That will be the focus of the next chapter."