Love, not Fear, Must Govern Behavior

I, like many Christians, have lived many years being uptight and fearful, almost obsessed with fear of making mistakes or "wrong" decisions or of being in doctrinal error or "missing God's will" or just not being spiritual enough, etc, etc. Since discovering and moving into a wider place in God, I've found that some Christians are even offended by the idea that we don't have to fear God's disapproval or fear that we are going to "miss His best". Shane Hipps says the following in his book Selling Water by the River:

"Those of us raised in Christianity often live with a lot of fear. Fear that we are doing it wrong (whatever 'it' is). Fear that some unfamiliar idea might hurt us. Fear that God may not like who we are, or what we've done, or what we think. Fear that a particular interpretation of the Bible is hurting the Bible or even God. Fear that we, or others, might be offending God, who apparently has quite fragile feelings, and a hair-triggered temper. Some religious people are even afraid that other people are not frightened enough."

Hipps goes on to say that fear has a legitimate initial role in our early formation in God in that it teaches us what is needed in order to stay safe (comparable to teaching a child to 'fear' a hot stove):

"Fear is a developmental ingredient in the life of faith. It is useful in learning to prevent harm and nurture wisdom ...and helps us develop basic impulse control...But fear also has some serious limits...

"The first stage of development is a much safer place to be...But as we grow, we are more and more moved and opened by Love, or God...fear is about closure and contraction, whereas Love is about opening and expansion. Love by nature is free from fear. The process of becoming open by Love can be unnerving, and it is not for the faint of heart. Doubts emerge when what we thought were solid foundations begin to feel like shifting sands beneath our feet. Love opens us more and more to a freedom that moves us beyond self-justification, self-protection, and self-preservation...

"If we are to access the Living Water Jesus promised, ultimately Love must become the only thing that governs behavior, not fear...Love does not do away with all boundaries; instead, it makes use of them in ways that serve the purpose of Love. 

"As we grow, the question we learn to ask moves from What is right or wrong? to What does Love require?"...fear is actually the absence of Love, not the opposite (of Love)...ridding ourselves of fear is as simple as letting Love in."