Deadly Side Effects

Recently I asked myself this question: "Is my interest in continuing to learn and to grow in knowledge so that I can understand God better and thereby love Him and others more, or is it so that I can prove that I'm 'right' and win arguments? Is it so that I can give life to others or so that I can feel superior to others?"

I believe this question was prompted by the Spirit of God and was His way of continually re-calibrating my journey in Him to keep me focused on loving Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and loving my neighbor as myself.

In the story of the garden of Eden, we see the two ways of knowing that humans are offered: knowing independently of God (the tree of knowledge of good and evil) and knowing in God (the tree of life). We humans have a wonderful capacity for knowing and learning, making great and wonderful discoveries because of being made in the image of our Creator; but when we exercise this capability apart from relationship with Him, even the discoveries we make that are beneficial to others have a dark underbelly to them and side effects that are worse than the knowledge/discovery.

The follower of Jesus is not immune to this reality. We never reach a place where trust and dependence on God is not necessary in our growth in understanding (whether that be theological understanding or any other discoveries). As we pursue knowledge that leads to creativity, we must do so in Him and dependent on Him; in other words, we must seek knowledge while in vital relationship with Him and with the awareness that the purpose of learning is to better understand God and His creation and be conformed to His likeness so that the way we live our life is like Jesus lived His: in loving communion with God and loving actions towards all humans. A common deadly side effect to gaining better understanding of God and His ways is pride and a sense of being superior to others.

When we grow in knowledge while depending on God, the benefits of that knowledge will have no deadly side effects.

If increased understanding is not producing increasing tenderness towards God and others, then it may be time to step back and allow His Spirit to examine us. For each person this will look different, but a periodic time of healthy self-reflection (not a morbid unhealthy religious self-hatred type of exercise) is helpful in re-calibrating the direction in which we are headed. Our natural propensity towards taking what we are learning and using it in unloving, self-serving ways requires that we allow God's Spirit to call us apart (for a moment, a day, a week...) for renewal and a fresh reminder of what life is really about: receiving His freely-given love in order to freely love Him and others with the same love and therein bring life and peace into our small corner of the world.

There is no Fear/Control in Love (In other Words, Is God 'in Control'?)

This is the third and concluding post on the topic of God's uncontrolling love. Having shared thoughts on the general idea that true love by nature is uncontrolling (here) and then some thoughts on where we see this clearly in operation (here), I will share some random thoughts about the implications of this kind of love. This is not comprehensive at all but perhaps can help generate more thoughts on the topic. The following are a few implications that come to mind:

One implication is that God is more interested in His creation's well-being than in His own well-being, because to love someone without trying to control them will, in one way or another, ultimately cost the lover his/her life. It is a dying to oneself and a giving up of one's power for the sake of the other.

Another implication is that God is willing to take risks in order to win voluntary love from His creatures. By taking hands off and not manipulating a person to behave in a desired way, the lover is risking that the person will walk away from life and goodness.

A third implication is that God wants love that is freely given to Him. God must exercise the kind of love He wants back from us. Voluntary love is not produced through using controlling love.

Another implication of God's love being free from control would be that, contrary to what we Christians say about God all the time, He is not controlling all that happens in our lives and in the world. God so loves the world that He gave up control over us in order to have a family that loves Him voluntarily. If God is not controlling everything, this would explain why the world is in the mess it's in; humans must be allowed free choice in order for true love to be operative in the world.

All of this could make God look impotent and weak to the point of His being unable to accomplish anything. But my final thought about uncontrolling love may apply here, and that is that uncontrolling love is actually the most powerful force there is. GOD IS LOVE. The presence of God among men is transformative. His power is in the ability of uncontrolling love to ultimately win over the heart of the loved one because the human heart is created to be loved. The apostle Paul says that LOVE NEVER FAILS; if this is so, then the God who is love will ultimately win the loved one through His loving presence rather than through His control.

^"God is love, and the man whose life is lived in love does, in fact, live in God, and God does, in fact, live in him. So our love for him grows more and more, filling us with complete confidence for the day when he shall judge all men—for we realise that our life in this world is actually his life lived in us. Love contains no fear (control)—indeed fully-developed love expels every particle of fear (control), for fear (control) always contains some of the torture of feeling guilty. This means that the man who lives in fear has not yet had his love perfected." (I John 4:16-18  JB Phillips paraphrase - I inserted the word 'control')

There is No Control in Love (In other words, "Sovereignty is More Like the Pathos of a Slaughtered Lamb than the Omnipotence of a Totalitarian Emperor")

Following up on the topic of true love being uncontrolling (see There is No Fear/Control in Love), I will touch this week on where we can see this kind of love most clearly in operation.

As a starter, I'd like to suggest three places we can see this at work. The three places that come to mind are in the stories that Jesus told, in the life that Jesus lived, and in the death that Jesus died.

First, the stories Jesus told. Perhaps the most famous of His stories, the story of the lost son (Luke 15), displays uncontrolling love most clearly. The father in the story had points of control over the situation through which he could have controlled both sons, thereby gaining a contrived desired result. After all, as long as the father was alive, everything technically belonged to him and he could have used that as a means of controlling the behavior of his sons, strong-arming them into being how he wanted them to be. This story has no hint of attempts at control on the part of the father; he loved them with pure unadulterated love.

Second, the life Jesus lived. Time after time we see Him relating with people in a non-controlling way. Statements made by Jesus in the gospel of John sum up the way He lived His life: "The Son can do nothing on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing...I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just, because I seek to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me." (John 5:19,30) Obviously, Jesus lived His life of love without trying to make things go the way He thought they should. He lived trusting His Father; in other words, His life was one of loving trust without fear and control. 

And third, the death Jesus died. His death by crucifixion meant that He was literally immobilized, rendered incapable of doing or controlling anything; it climaxed a life lived free from controlling people and situations. The cross is the ultimate expression of the words of the apostle John, "There is no fear/control in love..." The non-controlling love of God is seen in living color in the death of Jesus. In Jesus we see in clearest terms what God's love is like - no fear, no control, no coercion nor manipulating, fully self-giving for the sake of the other. The cross shows the voluntary helplessness of the Creator to do anything to control creation; it was a voluntary helplessness because He understood that His creation can only respond freely to freely given love.

Morgan Guyton says: "...many Christians like me are wondering if God’s sovereignty looks more like the pathos of a slaughtered lamb than the omnipotence of a totalitarian emperor." 

Next week I'll write about some implications of this kind of love.

There is No Fear in Love (in other words, There is No Control in Love)

-->As I continue to seek to know God, I'm discovering that His love is of a nature that is beyond human understanding of love. Recently as I was teaching, I had a new understanding of how uncontrolling His love is. And it dawned on me that true self-giving love must be uncontrolling or else it is not pure.
With this in mind, I plan to share some random thoughts on this topic that are helping me know and love God more. This isn't comprehensive but simply a starting place for prayer and discussion about God and His love.

In this post I will share thoughts on the nature of true love and the issue of control in love.

According to I Cor 13, the nature of true love is the following:

* Love is patient, which implies long waiting for the sake of the loved one; this is a form of suffering because waiting for another person means putting my plans and desires on hold.

* Love does not claim "ownership" of the loved one even though I may have a role in the person's life that would give me permission to "own" that person.

* Love doesn't flaunt itself (whether in obvious or in subtle ways) to get the attention and praise of the other person(s).

* Love is polite (recognizes the dignity of the other), not simply for the sake of politeness, but for the sake of honoring every human as a being of great value to God.

* Love isn't overly sensitive to every little word and action by others but overlooks many offenses whether they are intended or not.

* Love is inclusive, genuinely happy when good things happen to anyone, and has no desire to gloat when bad things happen to another person or group that is not part of its clan or way of thinking.

* Love endures forever; it believes the best about others and keeps hoping in the face of everything; it doesn't quit when it's not accepted and will prevail when all else has collapsed.

As I take the time to ponder each of these qualities of love, I can see how uncontrolling true love is. For example, exercising patience and waiting for a loved one to find and experience God is a form of taking hands off; it's refraining from manipulating to hasten the person towards God. Being willing to wait is a form of non-controlling love, and it is risky...and so on.

I'll let the reader go through each of the qualities of love and think through how letting go of control is at the back of each one. This makes sense, because fear is what pushes us to want to control life, and fear is the opposite of love (according to I John).

Next week we'll look at where we best find this kind of love in operation.