There is No Fear in Love (in other words, There is No Control in Love)

-->As I continue to seek to know God, I'm discovering that His love is of a nature that is beyond human understanding of love. Recently as I was teaching, I had a new understanding of how uncontrolling His love is. And it dawned on me that true self-giving love must be uncontrolling or else it is not pure.
With this in mind, I plan to share some random thoughts on this topic that are helping me know and love God more. This isn't comprehensive but simply a starting place for prayer and discussion about God and His love.

In this post I will share thoughts on the nature of true love and the issue of control in love.

According to I Cor 13, the nature of true love is the following:

* Love is patient, which implies long waiting for the sake of the loved one; this is a form of suffering because waiting for another person means putting my plans and desires on hold.

* Love does not claim "ownership" of the loved one even though I may have a role in the person's life that would give me permission to "own" that person.

* Love doesn't flaunt itself (whether in obvious or in subtle ways) to get the attention and praise of the other person(s).

* Love is polite (recognizes the dignity of the other), not simply for the sake of politeness, but for the sake of honoring every human as a being of great value to God.

* Love isn't overly sensitive to every little word and action by others but overlooks many offenses whether they are intended or not.

* Love is inclusive, genuinely happy when good things happen to anyone, and has no desire to gloat when bad things happen to another person or group that is not part of its clan or way of thinking.

* Love endures forever; it believes the best about others and keeps hoping in the face of everything; it doesn't quit when it's not accepted and will prevail when all else has collapsed.

As I take the time to ponder each of these qualities of love, I can see how uncontrolling true love is. For example, exercising patience and waiting for a loved one to find and experience God is a form of taking hands off; it's refraining from manipulating to hasten the person towards God. Being willing to wait is a form of non-controlling love, and it is risky...and so on.

I'll let the reader go through each of the qualities of love and think through how letting go of control is at the back of each one. This makes sense, because fear is what pushes us to want to control life, and fear is the opposite of love (according to I John).

Next week we'll look at where we best find this kind of love in operation.