Wounds that Heal - Week #7

We have completed the first part of this book (The Cross and the Damaging Effects of Human Hurts); this week we start the second part (The Cross and the Path to Healing).

Chapter seven is entitled Embracing the Pain. Before reading this chapter for the purpose of this blog, I asked the Holy Spirit to make the cross of Jesus more real to me than ever. I didn’t want to read this chapter as an academic exercise simply because I needed to write this posting. The Lord heard my prayer, and He began speaking to me; and so I want to encourage you to ask the same of Him as you read this chapter and/or blog.

The author begins this chapter by underscoring the reality that “healing happens not by avoiding suffering but by accepting and actively bearing it. Those on the healing path must be willing to walk into and through – not away from or around – pain.” He points to the crucifixion, saying that Jesus’ extended arms illustrate the vulnerability and full acceptance of the pain that is necessary for us to come into healing.

Satan constantly tried to get Jesus to accomplish the will of God by means other than God’s way. All the way to the cross, Jesus resisted this temptation (the wilderness temptation, Peter’s attempt to spare Him of death, the Garden of Gethsemane…); and then while hanging on the cross, one last chance to numb the pain was offered Him (“wine mixed with myrrh” – Mark 15:23), and He said no. Seamands quotes Klass Schilder:
“…The life-work accomplished in thirty-three years is now in danger of drowning
in a single cup of myrrh. But the human soul of Christ did not accentuate this
moment at the cost of introducing discord into the logic of His whole life…”

By refusing to take the pain-killing drink, Jesus chose to experience pain’s full power. Frank Lake (in Clinical Theology) says,
“The incarnate Word went into almost total silence, and into such darkness
that He could not be seen by human eyes during those three hours in which
He bore the dreadful limits of redemptive identification with all the worst
forms of human suffering…Neither the anxiety of commitment he experienced
in Gethsemane…nor the anxiety of separation in the final dereliction, diverted
Him for one moment from his path of obedient redemptive suffering.”

As I read this section of the chapter, I worshipped the Lord and remembered the Scripture in John 13:1 which says that “…as He had loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them to the last and to the highest degree” (Amplified). Knowing the inability in my own flesh to persevere in the face of pain and difficulty, especially when it’s long-term, I love Him more as I meditate on the cross and His loving me (and all persons) to the bitter end by refusing even the smallest pain medication when the pain was at its worst.

The author points out that we Americans are particularly resistant to facing pain because it is “out of keeping with our inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” He contends that this is part of why we find it so hard to face pain and suffering. In quoting Scott Peck, he says that the primary cause of mental illness is the avoidance of problems and the emotional suffering there is in facing the problems. We Christians use religious activity and busyness as a favorite means to escape facing pain that we’ve covered up for so long that we’re numb to it, yet not beyond its damaging work deep within us.

Facing the Pain
As we walk with the Lord and He brings light to a particular area of hurt that has not been faced and healed, whether it be small or large, it’s important that we get very honest with Him and ourselves about the impact it had on us at the time of the occurrence. Like Jesus we need to open wide our arms in a posture of vulnerability rather than one of self-protection; but this is impossible to do on our own if we really want to face it and walk through it and out of it.
Christian healing is based on the work of Calvary, making it radically different from psychological healing. For true healing to happen, it must be grounded in the sufferings of Jesus. True and eternal transformation is only possible in Him through the work of His Spirit.

Seamands says, “The way to healing is to face the pain. Instead of pulling back (from it), we push into the pain and then through it.” He makes reference to Much Afraid in the wonderful classic Hinds’ Feet on High Places, whose heart was struck with fear when she found out that her traveling companions to the high places were Suffering and Sorrow; none of us wants this kind of companionship in our maturing in God, but like Much Afraid, we cannot get to the high places in Him without it.

Stepping into the Pain
Every person is unique in their makeup and life experience and response to life, so there is no cookie cutter method for all; but there are some general steps that people pass through when they embrace the pain.
1. Breaking through denial. The author tells his own story of how he finally faced the
negative side of having been put in a boarding school when his parents were missionaries. He had always covered up the negative experiences connected with that by always talking about the positive aspects of it.
2. Recovering painful memories. When we have agreed to walk with the Lord in healing, He may begin to surface painful memories from our past. Dreams and/or flashbacks that are triggered by sounds or experiences in the present are some ways that this happens.
3. Owning anger. “Anger can be a frightening emotion, especially if we were raised in an environment where we were not allowed to feel or express it…Anger can become a wild, violent, even dangerous emotion when it’s been bottled up inside for years. For many, the healing path involves the fearful, unpleasant task of stepping directly into it.”
4. Admitting our guilt. No matter how we have been sinned against, we have all sinned. Even as victims, we sin in our response to the sin against us. I often think of Jesus in this context; no one has been sinned against as He has and yet He never sinned in response. This is not true of us, and it is our sinful response that compounds the pain and bondage, so admitting our guilt is necessary to come into genuine healing.
5. Grieving losses. It’s important to be honest about what we have lost because of sin; we need to allow ourselves to feel sad about what has been lost. One teacher I heard speaking on the importance of healthy grieving said that the purpose of grieving is to be able to let go of what could have been in order to move on to what now can be. When we don’t grieve well, we are still attached to that which we have lost.
6. Descending into depression. In some cases, the process of facing and embracing the reality of what has happened can throw a person into deep darkness for awhile. Seamands tells the story of one woman who this happened to who described it this way:
“For a year I fell into a deep depression. Obviously, this wasn’t my idea of healing. At the time, I felt like I was moving ‘backwards’ instead of ‘forwards.’…In a strange way, even though I knew the hope of Christ, my heart felt bereft of hope. The sadness and grief kept pouring out of me and there was no end in sight.”

Someone who goes through this degree of depression and darkness will need others to help
them in prayer and believe for them until they break through into the light.

Standing in Your Pain at the Cross
“Even if initially we can embrace the pain, how will we ever endure it? The answer lies at the foot of the cross. Standing there, we are given the strength…His cross not only provides the pattern of actively bearing suffering; it also offers the power we need to confront the darkness in our souls. We discover that Jesus’ open arms (on the cross) are also God’s everlasting arms, embracing us and bearing us up…

His courage and determination is imparted to us. As we stand beneath the cross like a patient facing a painful operation, we are able to say to Jesus, our great physician and surgeon, ‘I am ready.’ In Christ, we can open our arms to embrace the pain and endure the suffering necessary for healing…”

Once again I will quote Frank Lake who says of the cross: “The Cross of Christ placards God’s proof that He knows and can bear the ‘truth in the inward parts.’ The truth in the inward parts of the human race all came out in the Crucifixion of the Son of God. Now we know, if we could not believe it before, that God is well aware what it is like to live in the world he has made.”

In the Christian community, and especially in the “missions world”, we talk a lot about suffering for the Lord, and that is an important and core truth to keep before the followers of the Lamb. What I missed for so many years was the understanding that the suffering that persons have gone through at the hand of others in their infancy or formative years, if walked through and out of with Jesus, counts in this call to suffer for His sake. We tend to look “out there” to suffer for Jesus without realizing that there may be some severe suffering we need to embrace related to our past; walking through that with Him is necessary in order to lay down our lives healthily in other ways for Him. The psalmist says that God requires “truth in the inward parts”, and that means being willing to face whatever He may want to bring up that is still festering in hiddenness.

We cannot do this work; it’s the work of the Holy Spirit. But we can say “yes” to Him and then allow Him to uncover whatever He knows needs to be uncovered. If He begins to surface things, it will come accompanied with grace and power and always in the context of Calvary. Isaiah 53 says that by His wounds we are healed. Ask the Lord to reveal whatever He pleases and to aid you in seeing your wounds in the light of His.

Next week is chapter eight which is about forgiveness. I will be traveling, and Joan Frazerhurst has graciously agreed to fill in for me again – thank you, Joan. I believe Sue has given you notice that our next book will be Enjoying God by S.J. Hill. The Lord bless you; He is with you always (including right now)!