Deep Unto Deep - Week #8

Thank you to Joan Frazerhurst who is writing the blog while Nita is away in Asia.

Chapter 6 - Dark Yet Lovely (continued)

I found this chapter quite challenging and it caused me to really look at some areas in my own life. When I am apprehended by my own darkness, or as it comes through a comment from someone else, I find it quite difficult to think myself as"lovely." Anyone else experience that? This is the time for me to reach for His love. But, when I am feeling this darkness and/or possible misunderstanding, it is very difficult to reach for that personal love. I don't feel too personal at the time. I find I need to deliberately look to the Lord, desiring the deeper knowledge of the thought that I am still lovely to Him. I can't say that it miraculously happens...it doesn't! I can only say that it is only a step of faith in the fact of His love toward me as one of His created beings...because He did create me. There is a childlikeness that I must acquire by His grace in order to receive this love and attention at a time of darkness, failure, intimidation, or whatever.

Actually, as I have been reflecting on this chapter and began to write some thoughts down, I had the very experience that I had already described above. A comment came my way that sent me into a dark corner and I didn't want to come out. In order to begin to be free of the effects of this comment, I had to take steps to offset situations of childhood that left me unaffirmed as a person. The effect of negative comments, etc. always has sent me into the dark corner. I am finally getting to realize this reality so that I could begin to take the steps to be free of the effect of not being affirmed. Then to bask in the love of God and begin to see His reality of who I am. Self-examination and trusting the Holy Spirit to reveal my issues is essential.

I love the thought that tells us that God perceives our desire and our moving toward Him before we or others even notice it, and even when I would rather not be seen or heard from. This leads to the next thought about the process of discovering my darkness...God finds us lovely in the midst of this discovery. Whew! If we think we are dark, this is the time to know that the Lord went deeper into that darkness than anyone...even to the extent that He was forsaken by His Father. This deep truth allows us to be able to look straight at the fact of our darkness in order to be set free...the Lord brings us into the light of His shining face and loving heart. Just imagine being able to continually walk with the inner knowledge of being loved. I guess this is what we are being prepared for. God has put that "taste" in our being so that we will want to be free and desire more and more of Him...Addicted to His love! Sounds like a song?

As Dana indicates, and I am very grateful that she includes this thought, that if my heart tolerates sin and darkness, God does not enjoy that. He cannot enjoy both in us...the "yes" to Him and a tolerance of sin. My heart must be sincere in seeking to walk toward holiness. As I've written comments on these books from Nita's Book Club, I find I have been more personal than I ever have been. My desire has been for all of us to come to know in the depest way God's personal love for us. This includes the area of the reconciling good and evil. This is a subtle trap for us as believers. We can see in our society today (including many church bodies), a destroying of the reality of God's love and truth especially in the realm of personal holiness. This reconciling does not bring personal freedom into our deepest being, let alone in this present world system. In this realm of love and truth, we must be able to issue mercy to ourselves in knowing that we are forgiven. God's mercy to each of us can come through in a deep level because of the blood of Jesus cleansing us and the Holy Spirit renewing us.

Dana also speaks of a paradox, "...as we make our way forward in love, with immaturity so often lifting its head, He sees the sweet budding desire in my heart and calls me lovely." The persons "that feel loved and pure, overflowing with dignity and desire...are the burning and shining lamps throughout history that triumph over the enemies of their soul and walk in the truth of their destiny."

It is His labors, not our labor that makes us lovelier. Let us continually desire God to draw us into His heart of love. What a heart and what grace!

The following song was sung at church last Sunday and it seemed a fit here:

You Are My All in All

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my All in All.
Seeking you as a precious jewel,
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool.
You are my All in All.

Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name.

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again I praise your Name
You are my All in All.
When I fall down you pick me up,
When I am dry you fill my cup
You are my All in All.

Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name.

by Dennis Jernigan