Loaves and Fishes

Recently I was having a small but real struggle within myself about something in which I felt so weak. I can't remember now exactly what the issue was, but I believe it was related to fasting and feeling like I hadn't been very strong in the fast that I was participating in.

As I was sort of "beating myself up" about this, I sensed the Lord quicken to me the story of the young boy's offering of his loaves and fish to Jesus (according to John 6). That simple ministry of the Holy Spirit to me lifted me out of my introspection into gratitude and faith. There are a couple of thoughts about that story that greatly helped me and so I would like to share them with you.

First of all, in full alignment with His Father's desire to care for the crowd by feeding them, Jesus performed the miracle of multiplying the small offering of food in order that all could eat and be satisfied.

Secondly, the young boy evidently had enough confidence in Jesus and his disciples to allow Him to have his lunch. (I'm assuming the boy didn't know ahead of time what Jesus would do with it but was willing to share it with Him.)

Applied to my little situation, I saw that my focus was misplaced; it was on the smallness and weakness of my offering (the fast) rather than on Him and His desires for the fast. I was taken up with my lack rather than with His desire and His ability to take my small and feeble offering and multiply it into blessing for many others in need.

When I shifted my focus onto His desire and His ability to bless many through my small offering and away from focus on how well I was doing the offering, faith and joy replaced discouragement and unbelief in my heart. Once again I realized that the little that I offer Him is much when given to Him in faith.

I believe this truth applies to all that we offer the Lord. In our fallenness and sinfulness, we are prone to look inward at how well we are performing for God rather than to look up and out of ourselves to Him and how desirous and powerful He is to do much with the little that we give Him in faith.

Religion demands perfectionism; God asks for abandonment. Perfectionism focuses on my offering to God and on getting it all right (self-righteousness); abandonment focuses on God and how perfectly He did it in the Lord Jesus. Perfectionism competes with God's offering; abandonment responds with an offering that is utterly dependent on God's Offering.

I've often heard the saying, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well." I agree with how G.K. Chesterton said it: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly." This isn't advocating sloppiness or carelessness but simply acknowledging that perfectionism keeps us from abandoning ourselves to God because we can't "do it well" and so we don't do it at all. In order to do anything well, you have to start by doing it not so well. In the case of our giving to God, we are utterly dependent forever on the efficacy of His perfect Offering upon which our offering depends.

I want to be increasingly like the young boy who, without worrying about how large his offering of bread and fish was, simply gave what he had to Jesus. He had his sights set on Jesus rather than on the inadequacy of his lunch.

So Lord, forgive us for the sin of perfectionism and introspection, the self-focus that pulls us into discouragement and unbelief. Thank You for Your forgiveness and for the empowering of Your Spirit to look outside of ourselves to You, the transcendent Lord and Father who is lovingly and sovereignly overseeing our growth in You. We gladly give you permission to always lift our gaze to that eternal and perfect Offering upon which our weak offerings depend utterly! Take our small but genuine offerings and make them what only You can make them for Your name's sake.